Expressing affection is not one-size-fits-all, there are different ways one may communicate love. It is important to explore your own and your partner’s preferred love language so you know how best to fulfill each other’s needs. The five love languages are five different ways of expressing and receiving love: words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch. You may think that you want all of those, but each of us has one that speaks to us the most.
Here’s an overview of each of the five love languages:
1. Words of affirmation
Those who prefer words of affirmation value verbal acknowledgment. This includes compliments, words of appreciation, frequent “I love you’s”, encouragement, and even frequent texting or phone calls. These people are looking to feel heard, understood, and appreciated.
2. Quality time
People whose love language is quality time feel important when their partner actively wants to spend time with them and prioritizes hanging out. They feel loved when their partner gives them their full presence with active listening, eye contact, and undivided attention. This means without distracting phone screens, TVs, or any other outside interference. These people enjoy meaningful conversations and shared hobbies with their partner.
3. Acts of service
Acts of service is when you value when your partner goes out of their way to do something for you. This is the love language for people who believe actions speak louder than words, they want to be shown they are appreciated. This can look like bringing soup when you’re sick, making you coffee, or picking up your dry cleaning when you’ve had a busy day. Doing little or big things to make their life easier and more comfortable is what makes them happy.
Those with the gift-giving love language feel loved when people give them a tangible symbol of love. These people care about the symbolic thought behind the item, not the monetary value. They value the whole process of gift giving: the reflection, the deliberate choosing of a material object to represent the relationship, and the emotion behind receiving the object. The key is to give something meaningful that matters to the recipient, not you.
5. Physical touch
These people feel loved when they receive physical signs of affection. Touch and physical intimacy serve as a powerful emotional connector for these people. Physical affection can look like holding hands, kissing, cuddling, and sex. The roots go back to our childhood and how some only felt deep affection from their parents when they were being held, kissed, or touched. Now as an adult they value the warmth and comfort that comes with physical touch from their partner.
Love language quiz: What is my love language?
Take the love language quiz to find out what your love language is, https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-language. You may even have two love languages that are tied for first place. We recommend you also have your partner take the quiz so you can learn how best to make them feel loved. Now that you both know what the other person likes best, it’s time to make a conscious effort to fill those need.
https://5lovelanguages.com/quizzes/love-languages in order to keep your relationship happy and healthy.